Thursday, June 13, 2013

Heavens to Meighan

Today I have Meighan stopping by on the blog! She and I have actually met and let me say this girl is a hoot and a half, plus a great friend! Check this chica out!

Hey y'all!  I'm Meighan from Heavens to Meighan and I'm so excited to be guest posting for Catherine today! I got the inspiration for my post today from Catherine's sister, actually. In case y'all didn't know, her sister Mary Margaret is Miss Alabama USA!  So let's all cross our fingers that she wins (the pageant is THIS coming Sunday). I know that would be so exciting for the family!

I would love to be a pageant queen.  Walk up and down the stage, wearing a crown and a gorgeous dress.  Who wouldn't love to do that?  Unfortunately, I don't know that I would be cut out for it.  And so I present to you...


number one:  I have a mustache.  Let's just get this out in the open right up front.  No, it doesn't curl like the one above, but without waxing it does become noticeable.  I'm currently using my birthday groupon for laser hair removal and hope to be permanently sans stache soon.  See also:  unibrow.

number two:  I don't know if I could handle the bright lights without squinting or sunnies.  Not to mention all the people in the crowd.  I mean, no one wants to be the girl who vomits on stage from pure, unadulterated terror.

number three:  I have no talent.  Sure, I can sing with the radio like nobody's business.  And I can bootie pop pretty damn good in the bathroom.  But an actual talent?  Uh, no.  I've never played an instrument and I haven't twirled a baton in 15 years.  I don't tap dance and I don't do ballet.  See also:  spastic.  

number four:  I can't walk in high heels.  No seriously, I can't.  I look like a freak.  And as we all know from multiple blog posts, I fall down a lot.  Does the term "third time's a charm" still count if you fall and break your nose during Miss USA?  Maybe.

number five:  I would have to be from Texas.  My over-exaggerated Southern accent and huge hair would just confuse the judges.  They would probably just think I was a freak who lost control of my hot rollers.

number six:  I have a foul mouth.  I would probably mess up during the interview portion and say something totally inappropriate like "well fudge" or "oh shucks."  Or something along those lines... you know what I mean.

number seven:  I'm short.  5'4" does not exactly qualify me for the catwalk.  And as we already discussed, heels do not work in my favor.  See also:  huge ass.

number eight:  My makeup would most assuredly end up smearing all over my face.  Without fail, my eyes always water, my eyeliner smudges in the corner of my eye, my shimmer eye shadow gets everywhere and I don't wear red lipstick because I don't feel like having red, waxy teeth.

number nine:  I haven't perfected the beauty queen wave.  I usually just wave my hand around and holler, "hey y'all!"  I don't know how the committee would feel about that.  Also, I don't think I could carry flowers, sit still for my crown to be pinned on, walk in heels, AND wave at the same time.  You know, when everyone else dropped out and I won.

A big huge thank you to Catherine for letting me write this nonsense on her blog!  If you want to check out more of the nonsense in my life, be sure to come visit me over at Heavens to Meighan!  Can't wait to see y'all there!

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