1. I have no idea who singers, movie stars, etc are.
Ok, I do know the big ones (Hi Luke Bryan!), but if you aren't in a show that I currently watch, I have no idea who you are. This is because I am just too old for flipping through tv channels. If your show isn't on my DVR or Netflix, I don't know you exist. You sing songs on the radio? Well that's not going to help me because I almost never listen to the radio. My sweet husband got me XM as a surprise one day and I LOVE it for longer car trips, but day to day, I cannot stand to listen to the radio. I don't need incessant DJ chatter in my ear, nor do I need whiny people singing to me on the way home. I'm a lawyer--if I'm not talking, I'm listening--so I don't feel like doing it on the way home from work. I also do not need your song stuck in my head all night while I'm trying to get things done. I literally sang that "Chloe" song for a week and a half--I loved that song until I hated it. All of this culminates in me having no idea who the "new celebrities" are, which officially makes me totally uncool. Thank goodness for twitter and instagram, which keeps me connected at least to the ones I already know!
Oh yes, this is me, with some Jonas Brothers at Miss USA. I knew they existed but had no idea which one was which. Clearly, I don't deserve to be in this picture.
2. I cannot stand shenanigans/teenage hijinx/rudeness
My shenanigans are ok--your shenanigans are probably ok, but watching teenagers (or adults) running around acting a fool makes me want to go all psycho mama on them. The loudness, the rudeness, the acting like nothing can touch them just flies ALL OVER ME. Why? I have no idea. I wasn't really all that wild or rebellious but I can appreciate people having fun, but I swear I watch these people thinking "these young whipper snappers", or something to the same extent. Just be polite, use your manners, and be responsible or else I don't have time for you.
3. I don't want to shop
I cannot explain how this happened, but I have lost the will to shop. The crowds, the parking, the traffic, oh, the inhumanity of it all. Don't get me started on the ridiculously loud music they play in the stores--even the grocery store! I seriously asked a clerk at Winn Dixie to have the manager turn the music down one evening after work. I have been working all day, I don't need Cher screaming at me while I'm buying dog food (this brings us back to number 1). While I LOVE a great bargain, I'm kind of over the whole shopping thing. I don't want to fight someone for a pair of jeans in TJMAXX or nearly get run over in the parking lot. I've gotten to where I go to stores closest to my home or office and that require the least driving possible. If you want me in your store I will not fight traffic to get there and I will not stand in line for 30 mins to buy my $15 pair of flip flops. I'm even considering doing all of my Christmas shopping on line this year because the thought of doing all of that nonsense over again makes me cringe. I actually have been doing a great job of shopping for Christmas throughout the year and so I have a great "present closet" going. Yes, that makes me old too, I get it.
4. I have to say things like "20 years ago"
That is reeeeeeeaaaaalllly not fun--I promise you. I was trying to tell someone about a place I had been to and I said "yeah but that was about 10 years ago", and then I realized it was actually 20. Yep. I wasn't even a baby 20 years ago. You never think about being 30, or if I did, I don't recall. Maybe you think about getting married or having children but you never think "one day I will be 30 and have 4 wild pets and a mortgage". Forrest and I found a movie on Netflix the other night that we both watched as a child and it came out in 1993--20 years ago. Are you kidding me? I can still quote the whole thing! I don't feel old enough to be able to say I did something 20 years ago, but here we are!
5. I want you to be over it
I have noticed that in my old age I am have little patience for drama and worrying over the little things. If it isn't that big of a deal, I'm going to tell you. Let's think about all of the bad things that are happening to other people in the world--maybe you cracking your iphone and it still working isn't something to throw yourself a pity party over. As I have gotten older, and maybe it's because of my job, but I am much more aware of the lives of other people around me. Some people are really rich and they can afford all of the Louis Vuitton luggage they want and take vacations and drive fancy cars, and others are trying to scrape together sofa cushion change to pay for groceries for their babies. I guess I have gained much more perspective on the world and I want others to be right there with me. I have little patience for people worrying over what they don't have when what they don't have is the newest David Yurman bracelent, or being upset over something that is SO trivial that other's would kill for those problems. It's hard to do that--and I fail all of the time--but let's at least recognize when we are having a first world problem, people, and be thankful that we live in a place where having that problem is an option.
Ok, so I'm old right? Do any of you out there feel the same way I do about any of this stuff?
Are you out there feeling old? If so, what are your reasons??