Wednesday, September 11, 2013

That Time I Fought A Honey Badger

...or something like that?? Sorry if I lured you here under false pretenses, but in my head I actually did fight a honey badger. Forrest says all I did was take a photo of a beaver, but that is up for debate. Why don't I tell you and you decide?
Ok, so it's Sunday afternoon. I'm getting ready for a bridal shower. My bathroom is in the front of my house and I'm busy straightening my hair, putting on make up, ironing my dress. The whole time, I can hear my neighbor and bff Farrah's dogs LOSING THEIR MINDS. They will NOT quit barking. It is not unusual for them to bark uncontrollably when friends come to call, and typically they sound the alarm when my Sonny goes to visit them, but never for this prolonged a period of time. I figured they had treed a squirrel or something and didn't really think much of it...until I got in the car to leave. They were STILL barking--it had been at least half an hour. I knew Farrah and Justin were eating lunch at his mom's and weren't home and I got nervous that someone was breaking into their house. I drove to their house (2 doors down), rolled down the window, and listened. I could hear that the dogs were outside barking, so I didn't really think there was a stranger in their house, but I couldn't take the risk (for some reason) so I pulled into the driveway. What I thought I was going to do is beyond me. I just assumed I'd check to make sure the doors were locked, find the squirrel the dogs were after, and go on my merry, paranoid way. I even left the car running and my phone in the passenger seat. Let me remind you I am dressed for a shower--pencil dress, heels, make up and straight hair that have yet to be ruined by the Southern humidity. The doors look fine and the dogs are barking at something outside. As I peer over the gate, what do I spot? A HONEY BADGER! Or at least, I decided it was a honey badger, clearly lost and trying to make it's way home to Africa. I don't know why I started shrieking but I did--I guess I wanted to fit in with the dogs. Of course, Forrest was out doing errands and I HAD to get to the shower, but there was NO WAY I was going to leave those dogs alone with the honey badger, because even though he looked pretty scared, I was afraid he would get mad and attack them. Buster and Barkley are indoor boys--I don't really give them much street cred.  photo FACA4F74-D0A3-47D6-B325-7969498D47B5-1743-00000097B9D342EC_zps53043c95.jpg
See, I'm thinking Buster is all bark and less bite.

Then I started to panic because the honey badger was about 6 feet from the doggie door--what kind of friend would I be to leave that doggie door unlocked? I mean, honey badgers don't care--they will go right into your house and make themselves at home, right?
So I'm thinking all of these things while I'm dancing around and whooping in the Hayes' driveway. Finally I get myself together, run to my car, grab my phone and keys, and let myself in. I have Farrah's keys in case of emergency, and I would consider a honey badger an emergency. When I forget my keys I crawl through the doggie door, so it was a good thing I had driven so I had my keys. I was NOT about to enter the back yard and attempt to crawl though the doggie door while the honey badger was lurking. I did manage one moment of clarity long enough to stop and snap a pic of the little guy.....

 photo null_zps264de0ca.jpg Awwwww, yeah I know right??

Thankfully, the dogs came right through the doggie door, sans badger, and I was able to lock it so they couldn't get out and he couldn't get in. Victorious, I left and called Farrah on the way to the shower--"Hi! This is the strangest call I have ever had to make, but, um, there is a honey badger in your back yard! Everything is ok, just thought you should know!"  I arrived at the shower sweaty and disheveled, but hey, I made it.
As it turns out, the little guy was a beaver--Justin got a good look at his flat tail when they finally arrived home. I'm not sure what he was doing in our neck of the woods, but I'm hoping he is safe and sound in his stream, wherever that may be!

So I'm co-hosting Wild Card Wednesday! Make sure to check these chicas out and to link up with us today!
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  1. i love when you said, "honey badger don't care," man that is so crazy! hey man, you sort of did fight the honey badger so own that girl :)

    glad to be a new follower :)

  2. I laughed out loud when you said "I mean, honey badgers don't care."

    PS: I totally would have shrieked as well. Wild animals in the backyard are not my thing.


  3. Lol! Every time I see a honey badger I always think of that video <3 I'm glad it turned out not being a real badger but that beaver looks just like one...

    -B ♡ MsBerryStylish 


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