Thursday, October 24, 2013


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Have you ever heard this? I'm a firm believer in this statement. I saw this on Pinterest today and felt the need to open up the discussion of this topic. On the one hand, I think you have to picture things in your mind, set standards, have a level of expectations. You have to be able to set goals and know what you expect for yourself and of other people. However, I think it's bad when people cling to their picture of what they think things should look like and they are unable to stray from that image. To me, this is detrimental. Won't date the guy because he is younger than you or you make more money than him? Wake up--that's crazy, and please don't whine to me about not having a boyfriend because you are throwing out perfectly acceptable ones. I don't think this is lowering your expectations, but rolling with what the world brings your way. Yes, please don't date him if he is a drug dealer, but I think we can be a little flexible.
I blame a lot of this on movies and songs. I remember reading a status of a girl I know one day on facebook as she lamented about something or another about life and love and I swear I thought she was quoting song lyrics. She wasn't. I wanted to leave a comment to the effect of "honey, life isn't a Taylor Swift song--get over it". However, movies and songs build up this idea of what our lives and what our love should look like, feel like, be like. These characters don't have to "settle" because they get what they want at the end of 2 hours (or 2 minutes in song form). They don't have to manage expectations, roll with things, figure things out. Life is messy and doesn't always behave the way we want it to, and that's ok. It's ok for us to make adjustments to that picture and to be grateful for what we actually have instead of be sad that we didn't get exactly what we want. A friend of mine told me a the story of her cousin, who prayed that the Lord would send her a good man to marry. Well, she met this wonderful gentleman at church, however, he was from Kenya and she wouldn't accept dates with him at first because she thought people might not accept them together because they were different races. The cousin was conflicted and prayed some more and finally, she felt like the Lord looked her straight in the face and said "Are you really going to toss out this man that you prayed for and I sent you because he has dark skin?" Well now they are married and have the sweetest little family. Even if you aren't spiritual, you get where you I'm going with this. Create a picture, but don't be afraid to draw outside the lines, change the boundaries, roll with it. The image you create in your head when you are 5 or 15 or 20 or 30 may not match your reality later on in life. Please don't sabotage yourself because you can't be flexible.
I know it's hard to give up what you think should happen or what you want to happen, but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, in its own time. But, if we are patient and just keep our eyes focused on the big picture, the reality at hand, we should be fulfilled and happy. And to me, that's what it's all about.

What do YOU think about this? Did you have a picture for your life that you had to change? Do you think you should hold firm to your expectations and not relent? Let's talk it out!

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  1. I think letting go of expectations is the best thing that anyone could do for themselves! Once you let go of expectations, your live a much less disappointing life and find yourself happier! Good post!

  2. I strive for my life to be like the picture in my head BUT this is real life and 'perfect' doesn't happen. And I'm ok with that. I think people have trouble understanding the difference from the picture and real-life.

  3. My life is a constant struggle of expectations versus reality. It's like that scene in 500 Days of Summer, and it happens to me on a small scale, almost every day. I have to remind myself to stop and look around at how blessed I am.

  4. I love love love "Create a picture, but don't be afraid to draw outside the lines." That is one of the most perfect quotes I think I've ever seen.

    I think it's important to be open to options, but not to settling.

  5. I think it's important to have a pictures and have goals, but at the same time, everything can't always go perfectly. Being able to change your expectations is always important. I used to think it was vital that I always had straight As and did well on everything, but as I get older, I realize that it's impossible to be perfect. And nothing is wrong with a B here and there ;)

    xo, Hima
    Hima Hearts

  6. I 100% agree with you! I hate how expectations ruin things if we put too much faith in them.


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